When I was fourteen, I knew I never wanted children. Ever. No, not even if I met the right man. No, not even if I got mental and physical health under the belt. No, not even if there was a surrogate involved. Never.
I don’t like kids. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going to treat yours poorly or less-than-human, I just don’t like them. They give me the most ridiculous case of anxiety. They are sticky. They are loud. They are poorly behaved and smelly. I don’t like anything on that list.
When I met my now-husband, I asked him if he ever wanted any more children, because it was something that I, quite frankly, didn’t want to and probably couldn’t provide him. He was okay with it.
We were married two months ago.
It was then I started putting more serious thought into permanent methods of birth control. My oldest sister had hormone positive breast cancer. Due to lupus, I can’t have hormonal birth control anyway. And with current administration, I don’t think regular birth control is going to be a very solid method. I refuse an IUD.
Being as children were not EVER something I wanted, I brought tubal ligation up to my husband. J was incredibly supportive, and understood why I was making this choice. He encouraged me to do what I thought was best for my body. We talked about the fact that there were many obstacles that would probably be in my way.
At 22, even the nurse practitioner I brought it up to told me that it was unlikely I would find anyone willing and to speak to an OB/GYN. This nurse practitioner’s first reaction when I asked was,”Aww, already?” As I mentioned earlier, I have known for nine years that children are not what I want.
I made an appointment with an OB/GYN the day after I saw the nurse practitioner. A month later (the 21st of this month), I had my appointment.
J and I were expecting problems with both my age and the fact I’ve never had children. We found out that in some states, spousal consent is needed for the surgery to be approved. We couldn’t find out if Pennsylvania was one of them, so he came to the appointment with me.
The doctor asked me two questions.
- Do I want to look into any other methods of birth control
- Did I ever want children
The answer to both those questions, was, of course, no. And…
That was it. That was all there was. I was able to schedule my surgery. Two questions, a brief review of medical history, and that was it. No spousal consent, no second guessing my choice to not have children.
My surgery is April 26th. At age 22, I am getting sterilized. It wasn’t hard, but I understand that it can be.
Over the next month, I’ll be documenting this journey that I’ve chosen to go through.