Sterilization at 22 (Part Five)

I honestly wasn’t going to write anything else on this subject until after my post-op appointment. But I’ve spent the last few days healing, and I think that’s a journey that everyone should be familiar with, too. 

My ligation was four days ago. They sent me home with norco and ibuprofen. That was it. The first day home, I slept a LOT. My eyes were closing every three minutes. And I was sore. I’ve been in worse pain, so I didn’t think much of it, but the pain is nothing to laugh at. 

The surgeon suggested that I don’t stay in bed the whole time, so the second day I walked home from my mother in law’s. As it turns out, that was too much too soon and I spent the next couple days in bed. 

They gave me just enough norco, as of yesterday ibuprofen was enough to cut it, so long as I’m careful not to bump the incisions. 

With the basics out of the way, I think it’s time we talk about some of the…gross things that happen when you get your tubes tied. 

As I mentioned in part four, I went into this procedure on my period. The bleeding had essentially stopped after the procedure. Spotting has resumed, though I am certain that it is not my regular period. The fact that I don’t spot aside, the color is completely off. (I don’t care if that’s gross, vagina health is the incredibly important, and all vagina having folks should be able to distinguish between normal and not normal.) I’ve been wearing a pad, although the spotting is so infrequent that I probably don’t need to, but who wants to ruin nice panties? 

I was warned that my first period after the procedure would be different than normal. If it’s anything like this spotting, it will be considerably lighter. 

Now, sticking to the subject of vaginas, let’s talk about orgasms for a moment. It hurts. The surgeon instructed we avoid sex for a  week, and we have done so. I’ll spare you the details of how an orgasm came to pass, but I’ll tell you how it felt. Now, vagina having folks understand what terrible period cramps can feel like. It’s unbearably painful sometimes, feeling like you’re being punched directly in the ovaries. 

This is what that very first orgasm felt like. I don’t know if that will be easier after the first week, but as of the third day, it hurt like hell. 

Time to talk about poop! There are two incisions, one IN the belly button and one right on the pubic hair line. At first pooping was not a concern of mine. Norco is a narcotic, and those are notorious for causing constipation. As a couple days passed, I realized that pooping should be a concern of mine. And it turns out, I was right. At the point in time I was finally able to go, I hadn’t gone in four days. I was considerably backed up, and the movement through my intestines caused so much pain throughout the incisions. From there, it was just incredibly uncomfortable. Not quite painful, just uncomfortable. 

After four days, the incisions are clearing up a bit. There’s some bruising, but they don’t look at all as angry as they did when the procedure first happened. The pain is mostly gone now, it feels more like the aftermath of a serious work out than it does a surgery. The area itself is still tender to touch (so careful in the shower) but it doesn’t cause problems on its own. 

My incisions were sealed with a type of glue, but the edges/scab area are extremely dry and rigid, so careful that clothing doesn’t snag. 

Four days later, and the most uncomfortable of things out of the way, and I’m feeling exceptionally good about this decision. 

The pubic incision. They did a great job putting my tattoo back together
The belly button incision, just sort of extends my belly button down.

On Being a College Drop-Out 

I haven’t been in a classroom since early October. My university professors went on strike, and I had a week off. I didn’t go back.

I told everyone (myself included) that I was taking time off. For my health. And while I originally had taken time off for my health, as time went on, I realized I probably wasn’t going back.

If, by chance, I can get the two classes that I need to receive my Associate’a degree, I will. Just to say I did get my degree.

But eventually I had to stop lying to myself and to others about the situation. I am not “taking time off.” As of now, I am a college dropout. I had a lot of feelings about college dropouts once, but looking at my life in the last few months, I can honestly say that I’m grateful I dropped out.

My stress levels are minimal comparatively speaking, I’m not sick all the time, my pain levels aren’t as bad as they were, and I in my over abundance of free time, I’ve started doing things I want to do with my life.

I’m reading again. I made the decision to seek help for my mental illness, and have been on antidepressants for going on two months now, along with an as-needed antianxiety. I started writing a book, of which I am half-way through in just fifteen days of writing. I even found a doctor who’s going to provide me with a tubal ligation.

College was (literally) killing me slowly. I was struggling balancing a job and an education, and the sheer amount of stress left me sick and in severe chronic pain. Not to mention the crippling mental health problems I was experiencing.

I became an English major so I could surround myself with the things that I love. Reading, writing, literature. By my third year of college, I didn’t love these things anymore. It all felt like a chore to me. An exhausting attempt at work, when I wanted leisure.

Perhaps it was the severe depression. Or perhaps it was truly the fact college took everything that I love away from me, I can’t be sure. But it took me five months of doing absolutely nothing to find myself again. In fact, I’m still trying to find myself.

There have been…obstacles, to say the least, that have kept me from absolute happiness along the way, but as I relearn myself, I also learn forgiveness and self-love, things I didn’t know in college.

I might not have a degree. I might be a college dropout. But I am certain this was the best decision for me

Sterilization at 22 (Part 2)

With surgery two weeks away, I thought I’d tackle this subject again! This time, instead of going over basics, I’m going to answer some questions I expect to be asked. 

Q: If sterilization is about as effective as temporary birth control, why not just use birth control?

A: Quite simply, I don’t want to. I don’t want temporary birth control. I want a permanent option, because this is a permanent choice. I don’t want kids. Ever. 

Q: Not ever?

A: Nope. Not ever ever. 

Q: What if your husband wants children?

A: I didn’t come to this decision on my own. My husband and I discussed it at great lengths. In fact, shortly after we got together, I told him I would never provide him with children (assuming I could safely carry), and if that was what he wanted, we wouldn’t work. 

Q: And he’s okay with it?

A: He’s been incredibly supportive (if not the most supportive) with this entire process. He understands what this means to me, and he respects it. 

Q: Aren’t you a little young for this?

A: I was a little young for kidney failure and long term hospitalization, but that still happened. Yes. I am a little young. In fact it’s shocking I found a doctor who agreed. But this is what I want. 

Q: What about post tubal ligation syndrome?

A: Aside from the fact that there’s no supporting evidence that it exists? I highly doubt that I’m going to get depressed that I made the conscious decision to never reproduce. 

Q: But you’d make a great mother! Doesn’t that matter?

A: Thanks. But I still don’t want to be a mother. 

Q: Don’t you like kids?

A: I don’t, actually. Like at all. 

Q: But you’re so good to my kids!

A: I treat your kids like tiny humans. Because they are still humans. 

Q: Aren’t you worried you’ll regret this decision someday? 

A: No. I’m not. I’ve wanted this since I was 12 or so. I knew I wanted it more after I became sexually active. And now I’m married. To my soul mate. Surprisingly, I still don’t want kids ever. 

Q: What about the risks? 

A: it’s a low risk procedure. Most of the risk comes with anesthetics. Or ectopic pregnancies. 

Q: Are you worried about them?

A: Nooot really. No. 

Q: so you’re really going through with this?

A: yes. Without a doubt. 
Those are just a few I can think of. But if you have any questions feel free to ask.