On Being a College Drop-Out 

I haven’t been in a classroom since early October. My university professors went on strike, and I had a week off. I didn’t go back.

I told everyone (myself included) that I was taking time off. For my health. And while I originally had taken time off for my health, as time went on, I realized I probably wasn’t going back.

If, by chance, I can get the two classes that I need to receive my Associate’a degree, I will. Just to say I did get my degree.

But eventually I had to stop lying to myself and to others about the situation. I am not “taking time off.” As of now, I am a college dropout. I had a lot of feelings about college dropouts once, but looking at my life in the last few months, I can honestly say that I’m grateful I dropped out.

My stress levels are minimal comparatively speaking, I’m not sick all the time, my pain levels aren’t as bad as they were, and I in my over abundance of free time, I’ve started doing things I want to do with my life.

I’m reading again. I made the decision to seek help for my mental illness, and have been on antidepressants for going on two months now, along with an as-needed antianxiety. I started writing a book, of which I am half-way through in just fifteen days of writing. I even found a doctor who’s going to provide me with a tubal ligation.

College was (literally) killing me slowly. I was struggling balancing a job and an education, and the sheer amount of stress left me sick and in severe chronic pain. Not to mention the crippling mental health problems I was experiencing.

I became an English major so I could surround myself with the things that I love. Reading, writing, literature. By my third year of college, I didn’t love these things anymore. It all felt like a chore to me. An exhausting attempt at work, when I wanted leisure.

Perhaps it was the severe depression. Or perhaps it was truly the fact college took everything that I love away from me, I can’t be sure. But it took me five months of doing absolutely nothing to find myself again. In fact, I’m still trying to find myself.

There have been…obstacles, to say the least, that have kept me from absolute happiness along the way, but as I relearn myself, I also learn forgiveness and self-love, things I didn’t know in college.

I might not have a degree. I might be a college dropout. But I am certain this was the best decision for me


How High School Successfully Ruined Me For College

College is great. I love the idea of college. I love learning new things, I always have. I love the expansive library and the people and even the food. It is my favorite place to be.


But because of high school, I am not fit for college. High schools like to tell their students, “We’re just preparing you for college, we give you a lot of slack, that won’t happen once you’re in college.” Let me tell you, my college experience has been vastly different than my high school one.



  • I’m allowed to get up and pee whenever I want.
  • Surprisingly, my shoulders and my legs are not sexually distracting. Which begs the question, are you sure it’s not the TEACHERS who will be distracted by the shoulders of young students? Which poses another question, if that’s your concern, why are you letting them teach
  • I don’t really get a whole lot of homework in college.
  • I also don’t have to show up for class 9/10.
  • Also, college professors are willing to give extensions and drop the lowest test grade. It’s SO WEIRD.


You know what happened in high school? You had to show up to class every day, you had to do your homework, and that was it. That’s all you needed to pass the tests. Literally, just those two things, and you’d do fine.


Want to know what’s happened in college? I’m failing. I am actually failing out of college, because high school never taught me how to manage time or study. And you actually NEED to study in college. I can do all the homework assignments, I can go to all the classes. But without studying, I still will not pass the test. And that’s exactly what’s happening.


My high school liked to tell us they were preparing us for success. Between health issues and having no idea how to study because it was never necessary, I am incapable of college level schoolwork. It’s not that I’m not smart. I’m incredibly smart, and I think every one of my high school teachers would agree with that. I just don’t know how to manage my time, and that’s royally screwed me over.


Instead of teaching students they need permission for normal bodily functions like urinating, and teaching them that their bodies are inherently sexual, and teaching them that they can’t be trusted with a personal bag, and teaching them that college is the exact same as high school, I think we should be teaching them important things.


Like how to balance a check book, and make a budget, and budgeting time, and STUDYING. TEACH YOUR STUDENTS HOW TO STUDY BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T YOU ARE CONDEMNING THEM TO FAIL.


Study habits aren’t some magical facet of the personality. They are learned behaviors, and if nobody teaches them, how will students learn them? Teach them how to get information out of a book. Teach them to find important things out of a book, the things worth knowing.


I went to college totally unprepared.


Three years later, and I still haven’t figured it out.