Sterilization at 22 (Part 2)

With surgery two weeks away, I thought I’d tackle this subject again! This time, instead of going over basics, I’m going to answer some questions I expect to be asked. 

Q: If sterilization is about as effective as temporary birth control, why not just use birth control?

A: Quite simply, I don’t want to. I don’t want temporary birth control. I want a permanent option, because this is a permanent choice. I don’t want kids. Ever. 

Q: Not ever?

A: Nope. Not ever ever. 

Q: What if your husband wants children?

A: I didn’t come to this decision on my own. My husband and I discussed it at great lengths. In fact, shortly after we got together, I told him I would never provide him with children (assuming I could safely carry), and if that was what he wanted, we wouldn’t work. 

Q: And he’s okay with it?

A: He’s been incredibly supportive (if not the most supportive) with this entire process. He understands what this means to me, and he respects it. 

Q: Aren’t you a little young for this?

A: I was a little young for kidney failure and long term hospitalization, but that still happened. Yes. I am a little young. In fact it’s shocking I found a doctor who agreed. But this is what I want. 

Q: What about post tubal ligation syndrome?

A: Aside from the fact that there’s no supporting evidence that it exists? I highly doubt that I’m going to get depressed that I made the conscious decision to never reproduce. 

Q: But you’d make a great mother! Doesn’t that matter?

A: Thanks. But I still don’t want to be a mother. 

Q: Don’t you like kids?

A: I don’t, actually. Like at all. 

Q: But you’re so good to my kids!

A: I treat your kids like tiny humans. Because they are still humans. 

Q: Aren’t you worried you’ll regret this decision someday? 

A: No. I’m not. I’ve wanted this since I was 12 or so. I knew I wanted it more after I became sexually active. And now I’m married. To my soul mate. Surprisingly, I still don’t want kids ever. 

Q: What about the risks? 

A: it’s a low risk procedure. Most of the risk comes with anesthetics. Or ectopic pregnancies. 

Q: Are you worried about them?

A: Nooot really. No. 

Q: so you’re really going through with this?

A: yes. Without a doubt. 
Those are just a few I can think of. But if you have any questions feel free to ask. 

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Sterilization at 22 (Part 1)

When I was fourteen, I knew I never wanted children. Ever. No, not even if I met the right man. No, not even if I got mental and physical health under the belt. No, not even if there was a surrogate involved. Never. 

I don’t like kids. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going to treat yours poorly or less-than-human, I just don’t like them. They give me the most ridiculous case of anxiety. They are sticky. They are loud. They are poorly behaved and smelly. I don’t like anything on that list. 

When I met my now-husband, I asked him if he ever wanted any more children, because it was something that I, quite frankly, didn’t want to and probably couldn’t provide him. He was okay with it. 

We were married two months ago. 
It was then I started putting more serious thought into permanent methods of birth control. My oldest sister had hormone positive breast cancer. Due to lupus, I can’t have hormonal birth control anyway. And with current administration, I don’t think regular birth control is going to be a very solid method. I refuse an IUD.

 Being as children were not EVER something I wanted, I brought tubal ligation up to my husband. J was incredibly supportive, and understood why I was making this choice. He encouraged me to do what I thought was best for my body. We talked about the fact that there were many obstacles that would probably be in my way. 

At 22, even the nurse practitioner I brought it up to told me that it was unlikely I would find anyone willing and to speak to an OB/GYN. This nurse practitioner’s first reaction when I asked was,”Aww, already?” As I mentioned earlier, I have known for nine years that children are not what I want. 

I made an appointment with an OB/GYN the day after I saw the nurse practitioner. A month later (the 21st of this month), I had my appointment. 

J and I were expecting problems with both my age and the fact I’ve never had children. We found out that in some states, spousal consent is needed for the surgery to be approved. We couldn’t find out if Pennsylvania was one of them, so he came to the appointment with me. 
The doctor asked me two questions. 

  • Do I want to look into any other methods of birth control
  • Did I ever want children

The answer to both those questions, was, of course, no. And…

That was it. That was all there was. I was able to schedule my surgery. Two questions, a brief review of medical history, and that was it. No spousal consent, no second guessing my choice to not have children. 

My surgery is April 26th. At age 22, I am getting sterilized. It wasn’t hard, but I understand that it can be. 
Over the next month, I’ll be documenting this journey that I’ve chosen to go through.